Moving Out-Of-State for College

I was so excited to go to college that I began buying dorm items my freshman year of high school. I’d keep my eye on Target deals and bought things that matched my Pinterest college board. (Side story: I got a free large Brita for my dorm because I fell off a step ladder while working at Target 😀).

I didn’t really consider the costs of moving things out to school while I was doing this. I assumed shipping wouldn’t be too pricey, and just continued racking things up (mattress pad and topper, bedding, and even a mini fridge).

What I learned: If you are driving out to school, feel free to buy things before but don’t underestimate the space things will take up in your care. I had to leave behind a pillow-chair and other items that i wanted out at school because I misjudged how much space those items would take up in my car.

What else I learned: If you are flying out to school, don’t buy anything that you can’t fit in a checked bag before moving. I guess if you’re not concerned about costs, you can ignore this, but costs rack up pretty quickly when it comes to shipping larger items. If you’re moving out-of-state, opt for purchasing things closer to move-in and sending them to your school or quickly befriending another first year who has a car and convincing them to drive you to the nearest Walmart or Target.

Moving After College

When moving back to MN after four years, I went through my things the Marie Kondo way and questioned whether things brought me joy. If no, I donated them. If yes, I considered the shipping cost and if I could fit everything in a few boxes. I got rid of a few shirts I wish I kept using this method, so maybe learn from my mistakes and actually just use the Kondo method.

Two semesters before I moved back, I started to consider what I would want to keep but didn’t necessarily need in my dorm. If I could bring something back in my checked bag or carry-on when going on break. Anything you can do to minimize what you’ll have to ship back, do so. Or, if you’re driving, just make sure you’re getting rid of enough to fit into your car.

Basic tip: Start packing early!!! I was pretty much fully packed one week before I finished up school. I had a few friends that were not packed up the day of our graduation (you know who you are 😇)… STRESSFUL. That’s all I’ll say because at the end of the day everyone says pack early, but it’s up to you \ -_- /

Also, check in with your underclassmen friends and see if they want anything. Make their dorm a little cuter or more functional :)

School’s Moving Feelings

Moving also can come with many emotions. Maybe you’re leaving your family and friends back home. Maybe your friend group from college is dispersing across the globe.

I cried several times during the moves to and from college. These moves marked the end of chapters of my life that I wouldn’t ever be able to go back to. Even though I was excited and ready for the next thing, they still meant that I would be far from people I love and from the life I had grown accustomed to.

My advice in these moments: Let yourself be sad for what you’re losing, but then reframe your thoughts in terms of what you’re adding to your life.

You might be losing physical closeness to a best friend, but you’re gaining a new city to make plans to travel to. You might miss the structured learning of class, but you’ve gained the skills needed to prioritize learning outside of the classroom. You might not miss the structured learning of class, but maybe its the people in those classes or the familiarity they bring. But you’re gaining opportunities to grow and put yourself outside of your comfort zone.

And, for me at least, these chapters remain nostalgic and I still feel a certain wistfulness when thinking about them. I let myself sit in those moments. I remember walking around the halls of my high school, but then I recall how anxious I felt most days. I remember all my friends in my college classes, but then I recall the stress I felt with constant deadlines for tests and projects.

By reminding myself of the good and bad, I’m able to be grateful for those experiences without constantly wishing I was back there (because that’s an impossible wish — unless you’re Zac Efron or something). These reminders also prevent me from getting too stuck in the past.

Point is, moving comes with some chaos and many emotions. Plan ahead for the physical part of moving, and let yourself feel whatever feeling but without getting lost in the sauce.

Moving In With Your Partner

Tips for the material aspect of moving in:

• Use boxes if you have a ton of little things. Just makes life easier 😉 (If you know you’re moving, save boxes from purchases and/or ask friends/family if they have ones you can use.)

• Feel comfortable asking for help if you have friends in your area. Offer to pay for a meal with them after!

• Start packing a few weeks before the move (or longer if you have a ton of things — use your judgement and don’t procrastinate).

• Label your boxes (because boxes = easier move) with the room that they should go into (not only the items).

• Start your apartment/house search early as well. Find a place that you both like!

  • Talk to your partner about non-negotiables. Need in-unit washer/dryer? Only one bedroom? Two bedrooms? What’s your combined price limit? Do you need parking spots? What’s the ideal location? etc.

  • Use different websites (e.g. apartments.com and zillow.com) and create a spreadsheet to make comparisons between apartments/houses. I included our non-negotiables and time to places that we frequently visited as separate columns.

• Keep a mental or physical list of what you two have, combined. The move might be several months out. Maybe you’ve been really wanting a toaster, and you’re thinking about buying one ASAP. Check and see if your partner has one. If they do, might be best to not buy another (how many toasters is too many toasters?). Maybe their toaster sucks and they want a new one, too. Let that be your first together-purchase then! This applies to more than toasters, but you get the idea.

Here are some emotional considerations:

• You are roommates, but, first and foremost, you are partners. Discuss the household chores and cleaning schedule, but I think it’s good practice to simply do what’s in your capacity to make your partner’s life easier. If they have a big event coming up that requires a lot of mental capacity, go out of your way to vacuum or restock bathroom items, etc. THIS GOES BOTH WAYS.

• Make space for both of your things. In order for your shared place to feel like home for both of you, get creative with space. Maybe that means a shelf is split between the two of you, or that you buy a stand for both of your things in the bathroom, or that you have your collectibles on a shared end table. Use the space efficiently to make it feel like “our home.”

• Eat one meal together daily. If you’re on the run while your partner has a slower morning, share dinner most nights. If you both start work later, share breakfast. Take turns or make food together (or prep the night before). Sharing a meal is a way to be mindful and enjoy each other’s company (or it’s a way to learn about trading by watching Derek from Stocks By The Numbers 😊). These little moments mean a lot when you let them.

Making Moves

Moving, in my experience, is always stressful, but there are ways to mitigate that to a certain extent. Start packing early. Be mindful of what you want to bring with you to the new place. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with transportation or finding a new home for your things. Let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling, but don’t let yourself get too overwhelmed and stuck in the past (or stuck fearing the future).

Remember: You’ve got this! Change is often scary because it means you are embarking into the unknown, but new adventures make your life more interesting and work your brain in new ways. They promote growth and change and help you reconnect with your life, rather than skating by on constant auto-pilot. Living is changing.

Until next time,

Ana